Finding Balance

One of the things I've been considering as I prepare for my 30 Days of Nothing is conscious spending.

I tend to overthink everything because by nature I generally see the interconnections among many different things pretty easily. I've been reading lots of blogs written by people who've undertaken the challenge. And some of them have done incredible things and saved amazing amounts of money in the process. But I'm wondering whether, for me, saving money is really the only consideration.

When I think about trying to save money, it isn't just about the immediate. And it isn't just about saving money for myself. For me, it's about finding that elusive optimal balance of cost to value of the product I'm purchasing. And in my mind, that value isn't always monetary.

There are also other "costs" associated:
The High Cost of Cheap Food
as well as the health / nutritional costs of many "cheap" prepackaged foods.

And some more food for thought.

Is it a zero-sum game? By actively choosing to alleviate suffering in one place, am I unintentionally causing increased suffering elsewhere? It's an extremely heavy burden to carry.

For example, almost every single one of the money saving sites I visited today lists eggs as a cheap staple food. I could save a lot of money by purchasing the cheapest eggs I can find. But buying those eggs usually means that I am supporting an industry that thinks this is okay (warning, graphic and disturbing images). Everyone will need to make the best decision for themselves, but for me, the hidden "costs" of supporting such practices far outweighs the financial cost of my organic, free range eggs.

I also tend to support companies that produce fair trade, environmentally friendly products from sustainable resources. Often this involves a higher initial cost, but that's (usually) ultimately somewhat offset by the longevity of the item in question. Plus, I appreciate the fact that I am directly supporting companies that take social justice issues into consideration.

When it comes to purchases like clothing, is it better to save as much money as I can on the initial purchase, and then donate some of that savings to charity (taking into consideration that the product I'm buying is most likely produced in a sweatshop halfway across the world and the money I donate will likely be used to help support the people I initially helped to oppress in the first place by creating a demand for the product they're creating) or is my money better spent purchasing fair trade items at higher costs to me, but in doing so, directly supporting those who create the products? I do buy many things resale, but even that can pose problems.

It's complicated. And I'm not sure that there are any "right" answers. But I am doing my best to come to thoughtful conclusions for myself and my family.

So, how can I save money while maintaining my convictions? (Aside, of course, from the "easy" answer: don't buy anything!) Where is the line between spending frugally and spending ethically. Is it possible to do both? I'm not trying to be preachy here. I'm honestly thinking about these questions, and am curious as to what others think. And if anyone out there has savings strategies that do take ethical considerations into account, I'd love to hear them!

thankful

There are so many reasons that I am thankful this year. I am thankful for my children, my husband, and his family, who have been there for me when mine has not.

Thankful is not the right word, but I am forever grateful to our family in Ethiopia who have gifted us with the privilege of raising our children.

I am thankful for all that we have and will resolve to do better about sharing what we have with those who have less.

I offer thanks to the people who grow, harvest, package, and transport the food that we will be enjoying this afternoon (and every day). I sincerely hope that they too will have the opportunity to celebrate this day with the ones that they love.

I am endlessly thankful for our friends both near and far for the laughter, support, camaraderie, and advice you've all shared.

30 days of Nothing

I'm feeling incredibly inspired by Cathy's experience with the 30 Days of Nothing Challenge. For those who don't yet know, it's essentially a commitment to buy only basic necessities for an entire 30 days.

Aside from reigning in my spending, this post speaks a bit more to why I'm interested in taking on this challenge. For me, it isn't about adhering to any religious principles. It's simply about finding a way to walk the line between enjoying the life that we've worked hard to create for ourselves, and acting responsibly and ethically with respect to broader world, human rights, and social justice issues.

I cannot pretend to understand what the experience of being homeless or hungry -- as so many people around the world are -- is like. If I go without food for a day, or even a week, I do so with the expectation that there will be food for me to eat the moment I want it. And while vegetables sometimes rot in my refrigerator because I haven't eaten them in time, other people are starving.

One person dies every second as the result of hunger.

That's 36 million people who starve to death each year.

and 1 out of every 6 people on this planet do not get enough food to be healthy.

This website has real-time counters of world hunger statistics

So as people are starving, I'm creating wish lists of frivolous things to add aesthetic and comfort to my already cushy (in comparison) life.

Something is deeply amiss.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't get to enjoy life or splurge now and again. But there is a balance to be struck between consumerism and giving back. I've become far too comfortable with the idea of deciding that I "need" something, and then just going out to buy it. This challenge will give me an opportunity to reflect upon my spending habits, and perhaps make some changes in how and where I do spend money.

This is going to be hard for me.

I am anticipating that these will be the most difficult things for me to give up:

1. Target:
I cannot walk into this store without spending money on something I never knew I "needed". Ideally, I would avoid Target altogether, but we buy a fair amount of our groceries there since the prices are significantly cheaper than the other stores.

2. Dining Out:
All 4 of us love food. And we eat out a lot. Cutting this out would save us a ridiculous amount of money each month. Aside from our weekly brunches, the kids and I will often grab a quick lunch while we're out running errands (and we don't go to traditional "fast food" places, so I can't even use dollar menus as an excuse). I will have to be very planful and mindful about packing lunches (and actually remembering to take them with us when we go!).

When I first began thinking seriously about doing this challenge, I tried to rationalize why we should keep going to Sunday Brunch. It's tradition. It's the one time that we as a family have to reconnect. It's the highlight of my week because I don't have to cook or clean -- I can just enjoy spending time with my husband and my children. However, as I thought more about it, I realized that those are exactly the sort of privileges I need to give up for a period. And, in the end, a one month brunch moratorium is not a huge sacrifice.

3. The Kids:
I am 99% sure that my children will notice that we are not going to any restaurants. I am equally sure that they will not be happy about that fact.

Also, any time I have to take them grocery shopping with me, my budget goes out the window (again, this is a situation where the two of them work in concert to foil me. While I'm trying to keep one kid from adding unnecessary items to the cart, the other inevitably sneaks something in. And then there are the "special treats" that they ask for. And suddenly they have all these opinions on what we should be buying. I am *so* not ready for that.

I will definitely be taking advantage of the fact that my city offers some truly amazing free activities for children and families. We will also be making very good use of the memberships that we already have, and museum free days.

4. Art / Craft / School Supplies:
This should *not* be an issue. Really, it shouldn't. I have more of these things than I can even use. And yet I'm a complete sucker for paper, notebooks, crayons, markers, paints. If I see a spiral notebook on sale for ten cents, I *have* to buy several. It's like a compulsion. I should get help.

So here's my plan:

I need to ease into this. I've decided that I will be officially starting the 30 Days of Nothing Challenge in January. However, for the month of December, I am planning to keep a journal of what I bought, how much it cost, and how I was feeling when I spent that money. That will give me a baseline. In January, I'll do the same thing, but instead of actually buying things, I'll just be writing down the temptations to buy. At the end of the month, a portion of our total savings will be going to the World Food Programme.

Writing Center

As Isabel & Elijah become more confident in their letter recognition, they have also become more interested in trying to write and read letters. Inspired by this post, these posts, and this post, I decided to create a little writing center in a corner of our dining room.

We started by clearing out the space, and then took a small ikea table and chair set that had been (largely unused) in the basement playroom. We spent an afternoon colouring on the tabletop, and then I set it in the corner with a few supplies. Immediately they loved it, sat right down and began "writing".

Over the weekend, we added some storage cubbies that contain things like paper and envelopes in various sizes, crayons, coloured pencils, letter stencils, stickers, letters, mini chalkboards, scissors and glue. Nearby on an kid-accessible shelf, there are workbooks, colouring books, cookie sheets with magnet letters, letter puzzles, and even more paper.

It's so, so easy to create a space dedicated to early literacy (most of the supplies we've got are either repurposed, or purchased from the dollar store, local thrift shop, or ikea), and the kids are totally interested in all the "new" activities (note: none of these activities are actually new to them. They're just "repackaged" in a super kid-friendly way!) It's still a work in progress, but I'm loving how it's turning out!

Have I gone overboard? Perhaps. I blame it on the ex-preschool teacher in me. However, Izzie did inform her teacher that "everything we have at school I have at home too"... Oy vey!

Storytelling

Giving thanks

At school today, my children were asked what they are thankful for. Here are their answers:

Isabel: I'm thankful for my mom and my family.

Elijah: I'm thankful for my Metra train ticket. And for when I got to sit on the top (upstairs).

hmmm... thanks Lij.

The Santa Conundrum

Jon and I have gone round and round about whether to play along with the whole Santa thing at Christmastime. On the one hand, I think the fantasy can be lots of fun. However, personally, I’d much rather my children learn the joy of giving than further reinforce the expectation of receiving (especially when we have so much already). So many children around the world have no idea who Santa is, and no hopes of receiving a gift from some magical guy in a red suit. The lack of equity in Santa's giving is a tough one to explain when you're trying to raise your children with global awareness.

So here's what we've decided do:

We've explained to E & I that Santa is a story about a real person named Nicholas who lived a long time ago and was very generous to others during the holiday season. He had a lot of things and chose to give some of those things to others who didn't have as much. We also tie in our own acts of giving to encourage generousity in our kids (and that includes, but isn't limited to, giving back to Ethiopia).And we’ve told our kids that if they’re good and kind and generous all year long, perhaps they’ll receive a special gift in the spirit of Santa Claus come Christmas morning. The twins will receive one big gift from Santa that they have to share. That way, they can enjoy some of the "magic" of the Christmas season, but it will be firmly rooted in giving back.

My feeling is that they don't have to believe that the mall Santa is "real", to get into the spirit of the season. We’ve explained that there are lots of people who dress up as Santa who try to emulate the characteristics that Nicholas is famous for. Hopefully that helps to account for the many different "Santas" that we see throughout our community, and perhaps it will soften the "letdown" if/when they realize that there is no "real" Santa Claus (at least in person form!)

How does your family treat Santa?

Art Pen Pals

Thanks to Jean at The Artful Parent, I've signed the twins up to exchange artwork through the mail with their very own art pen pals. I love the idea of children creating and then exchanging art with other children, and I love that my kids can use the opportunity to learn about other children's lives in different places (Izzie's art pen pal lives in Spain and Elijah's lives in California).

If you're interested in signing up for your very own art pen pal, check out this post:
Art Pen Pals

Happy creating!

E & I's Favourite Things 2009

As the holiday giving season gears up, I wanted to offer up this years list of the twins' favourite things. I do realize that lots of the items are products we've featured in the past, but I think that just illustrates their longevity:

Wooden Train Set:
Playing with this is easily Elijah's favourite way to spend his time. I love that his play has evolved from just pushing the trains around the tracks to building increasingly elaborate scenes that involve the use of other unrelated toys. Wooden blocks have become cities that the train travels through, schleich animals decorate the landscape, and bilibos make fantastic tunnels. This train set has enabled fine and gross motor development, as well as encouraging problem solving (micro-engineering) and sparking imaginative play.

Haba Cash Register:

Another favourite toy. The twins' pretend play has really exploded this past year, and they are absolutely loving this cash register (in fact, they loved it so much that they broke it! Haba's amazing customer service sent us a brand new one!). Their favourite game to play is "ice cream shop", though they also enjoy playing "restaurant".

Puzzles:

We especially like Eeboo and Ravensburger and Melissa & Doug puzzles, but puzzles of all kinds have been getting a lot of use around here.

Automoblox:

We've had this adorable puzzle car for a while now, and the kids have always liked playing with it. But now they seem to really "get it" and are pros at taking it apart and putting it back together (Maybe it ties in with the puzzle thing). These are among our favourite gifts to give!

Mudpuppy Spend, Save, Share Banks:

These adorable banks are practical, stylish, and affordable. See this post for how we're using them.
*note: you can't necessarily tell from the picture, but the ballerinas on the pink bank are multicultural, which was important to me.

Tea Collection Clothing:

Easily our favourite kids clothes. Comfy, vibrant, fun, easy to layer or mix and match. (And their sales are fantastic!)

Green Toys Tea Set:

Adorable, food and dishwasher safe, and made of recycled milk jugs. We've had a lot of fun with this one!

Musical instruments:

We have lots of them, but our favourites include drums, guitars, a keyboard, various shakers and boomwhackers.

Books:
Barefoot Books: Fantastic Selection of books that focus on diversity and illustrate the beauty of this big old world we live in. We especially love the Laurie Krebs books that take us on journeys around the world.
The Goodnight Train: It's about trains (something they love), and going to sleep (something I love). Enough said.

Marvel all in one Play Kitchen:

They've really started using this in fun, creative ways this year as their dramatic play has blossomed. They've hosted their own cooking shows, made dinner, played restaurant, and so on and so forth.

Charlie & Lola:

I've talked about Charlie and Lola before. E+I adore it (to the point that they've begun speaking with British accents and asking me for "ice lollies"). I appreciate its focus on creativity, beautiful design and thoughtful treatment of common childhood conundrums.

Eeboo Tell Me A Story Cards:

Another really great gift idea. Each of the cards in these packs is loosely related to a central theme, but they can be shuffled and put into any order. Kids choose a card and then tell a story linking the cards together in the order they're chosen. The illustrations are lovely, and these cards encourage early literacy skills, storytelling, creativity, and making connections between the cards.

Art Supplies:
This year we've really started getting creative, and my goal is to do something artsy with the kids every day (most days that's just drawing pictures). Nobody needs me to tell them what art supplies to buy, but I will share a few of my favourite websites for kid friendly art projects and general creative living:

The Artful Parent
Plum Pudding
Kids Craft Weekly
Martha Stewart Kids
Kiddley
Soulemama (I also love her books: The Creative Family & Handmade Home. You can enter to win a copy of The Creative Family here.)

Other Gift Ideas: (things we've seen & loved but don't actually own)

Magformers / Magnatiles:

Colourful magnet shapes allow kids to build very cool structures, explore basic math and geometry concepts, and play with colour theory.

HaPe Double Rainbow Stacker:

A cool new twist on the classic toy.

Wonderworld Rainbow Sound Blocks:

I thought these were very cool. Different shapes, colours and sounds for little ones to experiment with.

Eeboo Matching Games:

I love the whimsical and colourful illustrations, as well as the diversity reflected in these games.

Eco Friendly Lunchboxes:
I really love the whole bento thing, and these are really great, flexible lunchbox options.

Laptop Lunches:

These were the first bento style lunchboxes I saw (thanks to Vegan Lunch Box), and I fell immediately in love with them. Colourful, cute, easy to wash and maintain (so I hear).

Yubo Lunchboxes:

These are totally flexible and fun. You can change out the images on the boxes, both sides open, and they have a variety of different accessories and containers for your food.

Goodbyn:

These are super cute and have been generating a lot of press lately. They come standard with a drink bottle (unlike the previous two options), and they also come with stickers that your kids can use to customize their lunchbox. These are the least flexible use of the three options, as the food is contained in permanent wells, but this design also means that kids have fewer pieces that can be lost. I think these might be best for older kids because I would imagine little ones might have a hard time putting the lid back on.

Go Green Lunchboxes:

These are the only ones I haven't seen in person, but I really like what I see with the design of these. They also come with a stainless steel drink bottle, and a carrying case available in a variety of patterns.

For the adults

I have to be careful here because I have no idea whose prying eyes might be perusing this blog. That said, I'm not going to mention any of the things I'm actually *giving* as gifts this year. But these are a few of the things I've thought would make great gifts:

A new purse:
I especially love these from Bayan Hippo Handmade

And these from Moop


A Doodle Tag:

A necklace made from your child's artwork? brilliant!

Custom Silhouette Ornaments:
As featured on the Nie Nie Dialogues


A Way to Document the Cute / Funny / Profound Stuff Kids Say:

What parent wouldn't love this! I think I've mentioned how we keep mason jars full of our kids memorable quotes, most of which are scribbles onto random scraps of paper. You could just as easily create a journal for this purpose. Or, for those of us who love the idea but don't want to go through the effort of creating a book, here's one that's ready-made!

Return Address Stamps:

There are some great sellers on Etsy, and I deliberated on this for a long, long time, but we ended up going with a self-inking stamp from Etsy seller Lettergirl, and I couldn't be happier with it.

Tis the Season

Despite my fervent protests, Christmas is just around the corner. We made a conscious effort last year to get away from the commercialism of Christmas and focus more on things like family togetherness and having memorable experiences. This year, we're resurrecting last year's advent calendar idea that gives us a fun activity or experience to do as a family each day.

We're also continuing the tradition that each person in our family will be receiving 5 gifts:

Something they want:
Izzie wants "seeds to grow a pumpkin", so I'm on the watch for a good gardening kit (any suggestions?).

edit: the gardening kit was a bust. Nobody had them in stock, and the ones available online didn't get great reviews. I did find her some seeds and will add that to the science stuff. Her major want is going to be a plasmacar, which she saw the other day and has been talking about ever since.


I'm thinking about getting this Metra Train for Elijah (who would be over the moon-- his favourite toy train broke and sadly, Brio's customer service has been nonexistent, so although these trains are pricey*, I appreciate that they're handmade (in the midwest) and come with a fantastic guarantee) :

*I would never spend this much on a toy train if I wasn't absolutely positive that it would become his favourite toy ever and he will play with it every single day and probably sleep with it at night and one day want it to become a part of his wedding ceremony or something. I mean, the kid wrote an original song about metra trains. He's obsessed.

Something they need:
Not sure on this one yet. Maybe Laptop Lunchboxes?

Something to wear:
I'm thinking these adorable and great for curly hair hats from Mustard Seed Creations


Something to read:

Something handmade:
For Izzie, I'm planning to make a jewelry hook so she can hang up her necklaces

For Elijah, I'm not sure yet. If I could sew, I'd totally make him a cape.

The twins will also be getting one shared gift from Santa*:
The Haba Ball Run. They've gotten to play with ball runs before at their grandparents house, and both kids love them. I especially like the Haba ball run because there's no limit to how creative you can be when building it (i.e. pieces don't have to be put into any specific order, you can use other objects to make the track more interesting). I must admit that this totally plays into my secret desire to have my very own rube-goldberg machine! Of course there are a million different accessories you can purchase later on, but for now, we're starting with the basic set.




*I'm planning a post about our thoughts on Santa Claus in the future

They'll also receive a variety of stocking stuffers that are all science themed (since I am *not* the science type at all, I have to work extra hard to encourage those skills in my kids so that they don't grow up with the same math and science phobias that I have).

For those who might be interested in what we're including in our science kits, here's the inventory (*Note: I found that I could put together a much more interesting assortment of items than any of the pre-packaged sets provided for about the same cost):

magnifying glasses
test tubes & test tube rack
sun print paper
graduated cylinder
Clear Plastic Tubes in 2 different sizes (for the sensory table)
counting cubes
touchable bubbles
Shrinky Dink Plastic
PH testing strips
A Tornado Tube Maker
Moon Sand
Goop
Eye Droppers
Plastic Tweezers
Liquid Motion Bubble Tube
Baking Soda
Vinegar
Breakable Geodes
A Prism
Magnets

Stay tuned for our "favourite things of 2009" recap!