more on music

Music is big around here. We have impromptu dance parties and sing-alongs all the time, and we spend exponentially more time listening to music than watching television. We've never been big on kids' music (with the exceptions of Elizabeth Mitchell, the Putumayo Kids series, small doses of Justin Roberts and certain compliations for children by adult musicians), and don't really censor what we listen to with our kids.

Both of the twins love music, singing and dancing, and they know all the words to all of their favourite songs. I thought it might be fun to share some of them with you!

Three Years

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

David Harkins

money money money money

We've decided that now's as good a time as any to begin teaching our children about the value of money. Several years ago (before we even had kids), I had seen piggy banks that had three separate slots for money to spend, to save, and to share. I loved this idea, and kept it tucked away in my mind until we were ready to introduce these concepts to the twins.

Several weeks ago, we bought the twins their first piggy banks, and told them that they would have several opportunities to do jobs and earn money to put into their banks. These jobs range from helping to put away their laundry to dusting and sweeping and other assorted odd jobs. Each job they complete will earn them a dime. Things like cleaning up their toys will not earn them money because that's just something they're expected to do.

I keep a tally of how many jobs each child has completed throughout the week, and then on Sunday nights, I pay them what they've earned. Then we talk about which category each dime will go into.

I've explained the "Spend" category as money that the kids can take with us when we go to the store and spend on little treats (stickers, balloons, small cheap toys, etc.).

For the time being, the "Save" Category has been explained to them as money they're putting aside for larger purchases (maybe a bigger toy such as a bike or a scooter). When they get older, we'll take them to the bank and open savings accounts, and ultimately I'm hoping that the "Save" category will go towards things like their first car or their college education.

Finally, we've explained the "Share" category as money that we give to other people who don't have as much as we do. My intention with this is to choose several charitable organizations that we can introduce to the children, and then let them decide where they'd each like their money to go.

I'm hoping that this approach will not only teach the twins about the value and uses of money, but also about how important it is to maintain a balance in how that money is used, and how nice it feels to be able to do things for others.

Funny things my kids say:

In order to remember the funny, cute, and profound things my children say and do, I've started keeping mason jars full of scraps of paper, each holding a memory of one of the twins' sayings. Here are some of the things that have gone in lately:

E: "Mom! Why are those windstrummers going?" (Talking about the windshield wipers. He totally knows the correct term, but I definitely prefer his take...)

Me: "Izzie, what did you name your horse?"
I: "Oink!"

E: "The red line train goes to Wrigley Field and Evanston, Illinois."
I: "And the blue line goes to O'hairport!"

Talent Show

Elijah's first original piano song:


Izzie has been obsessed with all things gymnastic. They start a formal gymnastics class in 2 weeks, but until then, Isabel's been practicing hard:

Another Note on CoC's

**I originally posted this nearly a year ago on our agency's forum, but I thought it would be good to document it here as well. Feel free to copy, re-post and pass this on any way you see fit!**

I've noticed that a lot of adoptive parents have some confusion around the question of when our children become citizens. While it is true that internationally adopted children become citizens *under the law* once their adoptions are finalized (during the readopt on an IR-4 Visa, and during the original court hearing on an IR-3), nothing except for a Certificate of Citizenship (COC) counts as actual *proof of citizenship*.

Many people seem to believe that getting a U.S. passport for their child is enough "proof". However, there are several problems with this:

1. Passports expire. If you are relying solely on a passport as proof of citizenship, your child will have to constantly renew their passport and never allow it to expire. This will be a lifelong economic commitment for your child whereas a COC is a one time fee. Also, there are some travel circumstances where passports need to be sent off in order to receive travel visas. During those periods, your child will have no proof of citizenship.

2. CIS does not necessarily accept a passport as proof of citizenship because passports do not indicate *how* an individual obtained citizenship.

3. Filing for and obtaining a certificate of citizenship ensures that CIS has a record of citizenship. This is especially important for children who arrive on IR-4 visas (i.e. Ethiopian children) because otherwise CIS has no record that the adoption has been finalized.

4. It is extremely difficult for adult adoptees to obtain certificates of citizenship for themselves. (Paperwork has often been misplaced, and CIS is not sympathetic)

5. Using a passport as proof of citizenship poses additional risks. The Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act of 1996 has dramatically increased the severity of penalties for even minor offenses. If an individual falsely represents him/herself as an American Citizen for any purpose, they can be deported. Technically using a U.S. Passport as "proof of citizenship" without having applied for the COC can be considered false representation.

6. Once it gets to the point where the legal system is involved, there is very little recourse, and a number of teenage and adult adoptees have been deported to the countries of their birth with no language skills, cultural understanding, or support system. In deportation cases, the abilily to prove citizenship quickly and with uncontested documents is critical.

I know that the COC is expensive, and the last thing that any of us want to do is deal with even more paperwork, but ***Our children NEED to have their COC's*** It is our responsibility as their parents to obtain these for them.

The instructions for completing the COC application can be found here:
http://www.uscis.gov/files/form/N-600instr.pdf

The application form itself can be downloaded here:
http://www.uscis.gov/files/form/N-600.pdf

This information comes courtesy of the Midwest Adoption Conference and Resist Racism:
http://resistracism.wordpress.com

random conversations with three year olds

me: (listening to the weepies song "Old Coyote" which includes the line "the devil may care")
i: (singing along... then stops abruptly) What's "devil"?
me: He's kind of a bad guy
i: Oh. I don't like that guy. I like yoooooouuuu! Now squeeze me tight!

Okay then!

Melkam Addis Amet!

Enkutatash 2002 (September 11, 2009) is the day my little citizens of the world
officially* became little citizens of the USA!

*note: it took 10 months for us to receive their CoC's. However, the date on the actual CoC's is April 16th 2009.

Back To School

road trip 09

So, we're home, and our Grand Tour of the Midwest was a rousing success. In fact, we had so much fun, we're already thinking about how and when we can go back for another visit!

We arrived in Minneapolis on Wednesday night and the festivities began immediately. The kids played outside while Stacy and I caught up with one another's lives. We got to watch Lucy show off her swimming skills at swimming lessons, and then it was time to put the little ones to bed in anticipation of more fun the next day.

Thursday we took the bus to the Minnesota State Fair with Morgan and Melanie. While we were there, we met up with another set of Ethiopian twins. The Runions were the first Ethiopian twins I'd ever heard about (way back when we first started the adoption process), so it was very cool to finally meet them in person!

The fair was lots of fun, and all four kids were troopers. They did a great job exploring all of the different things the fair had to offer, and took advantage of Morgan's stroller when their little legs got too tired to walk any further.

We met some baby animals at the miracle of birth exhibit:

We ate various foods on sticks:

The twins learned about life on a farm through the interactive "Little Farm Hands" Exhibit:

The kids experienced their very first carnival rides:

(Izzie was a little bit tentative at first, but she got into it when she realized how much fun Lucy and Morgan were having!)

We walked and walked and walked:

We danced:

We met the Minnesota Twins Mascot:

And we even saw a parade!

Friday had even more fun activities planned. I don't think the day could have gotten more perfect for Elijah. We started out at Choo Choo Bob's, an awesome train store with interactive train tables for the kids to play with, a model train exhibit to watch, and more train paraphernalia than you can possibly imagine. Lij was in heaven! We had the pleasure of meeting another lovely Minnesota family while we were here, and the kids had an absolute blast!

We stopped for a quick lunch before heading to the Como Zoo, where we got to meet Stacy and Lucy's friends Isaac, Nathan and Jacob. The kids had a great time looking at the animals, and especially loved putting coins in the donation tree at the monkey house.

We swung by Stacy and Lucy's house to let the puppy out:

Before heading out to sample Minneapolis' cupcake offerings:

And then playing at a park briefly before Lucy's Kuk Sool Class.

It's difficult to choose a favourite memory from this amazing trip, but the twins got an unexpected surprise when they were invited to participate in Kuk Sool class. They absolutely loved it, and were shockingly good at following the teacher's instructions on how to block and dodge attacks:

The twins haven't stopped talking about Kuk Sool, and would *love* to get involved in some sort of martial arts class here. Jon and I are all for that because we both strongly believe in the benefits and discipline of martial arts training. Sadly, we have yet to find a school that takes kids under 4, so we'll just have to wait until next year.

Finally, we met several other MSP adoptive families at Fasika for dinner. The food was great, and it was so nice to meet some of the other families we'd heard so much about. The twins were pretty exhausted at this point, and Isabel completely lost her mind at dinner, needing to be taken outside to calm herself down. Soon enough, she was back to her old self, and spent the duration of the evening making out with Morgan (I won't post pictures of her wild night (mostly because I was too busy trying to socialize and curtail naughtiness to document my daughter's scandalous behaviour), but if you're really interested, you can see them here.)

The kids were absolutely obsessed with this cool candy box puzzle that Lucy has. They spent every moment that we were home playing with this toy!

All too soon, it was time to say goodbye to our friends in Minnesota and get ready for phase 2 of our trip: Wisconsin!

We arrived Saturday afternoon to be greeted by this face:

The kids had a great time together (as always), but were sad to learn that one of the boys was out of town for our visit.

We went on a bear hunt at the park, worked on art projects, played in forts:

And, most importantly, celebrated D's birthday

At a waterpark! Elijah started out being terrified by the giant bucket that tips over and dumps water on everyone. He was so scared that he spent the first 15 minutes sitting in a chair and refusing to come in the water at all. Soon, though, he got over his fears and had the time of his life sliding down the children's water slide and going on the infaltable boat waterslide.

Our waterpark trip ended with a scare when Elijah wandered away from us to attempt an activity intended for much bigger kids. He fell in the water, necessitating a rescue by the lifeguards. Oy Vey!

After the waterpark, we headed to the Celtic Festival, where we met various men in kilts, learned about different clans, and watched axe throwing, fencing, and jousting demonstrations. The kids got "Passports" which could be stamped at each of the clan's tents, and one friendly woman explained the meanings behind each clan's stamp. The history is so interesting, and I love that each family's history is told in its stamps and its tartan. Very cool.

We had a fantastic time on our trip. The kids all played really nicely together, and it's just remarkable to see these little ones growing up together. I got some much needed recharging and reconnection by getting to spend time with people who've become wonderful friends. Thanks again to all of our friends for your hospitality and your company! We are truly lucky to have each of you in our lives!