Three Years

Three Years ago, after spending a lovely Valentines day exploring Paris, Jon and I boarded a plane and arrived a few short hours later in Ethiopia. Later that day we would meet two little people who would change our lives.

It's hard to believe it's been three years. So much has changed. And yet, through it all, our children have maintained the same personality traits that we saw in them from the very first moment that we met.

Geremu is still a very emotional, sensitive, sweet little boy who's always looking out for everyone else. He is creative and his ability to understand systems on a big-picture scale never ceases to astound me. He is always going, moving, talking, thinking, asking questions. He still doesn't like to sleep (I think it's partially because he's always thinking.) Stillness and quiet are very, very hard for him. He builds elaborate cities, airplanes, train tracks, zoos, and structures. He is curious, silly, and absolutely hilarious.

Tsege is more outwardly reserved with her emotions, but she has a deep well. She's still the intellectual, and she still studies people with the same ferocious intensity that she did as an infant. Except now she makes comments on her observations.

We went to a gymnastics meet the other day, and Tsege watched the big girls intently, pointing out their "sharp toes" as well as breaks in their form. She is a perfectionist and holds herself to the highest possible standards. She is incredibly athletic, and practices her gymnastics skills for several hours every day. She is currently teaching herself how to do a cartwheel and a handstand. She begs me to let her watch youtube videos of gymnasts, and then uses those videos as inspiration.

Tsege also loves writing and reading and anything to do with words and sounds. She can write most letters, and is constantly trying to sound out the words she sees or hears. While we were making valentines, she sat for an hour and wrote her name about 25 times. At three she is already more principled than many adults. She is smart, sassy, and silly.

I still think a lot about attachment. I've written about it before, but it's been quite a process, and it's evolved very subtly It took months for Geremu to attach to us, and years for him to attach securely, but I'm pretty sure we're there. They've recently stopped asking whether I'm coming back for them every time I drop them off at school. I think of that as a pretty huge step.

I've also thought a lot about my evolution as a parent. I used to think that I would be a really good mom. That just hasn't been the case. I have no way of knowing how having my own mother around might have changed the way that I parent, but I know that losing her took away important pieces of me. I have often felt guilty for bringing these children across an ocean only to have a mother as imperfect as I am. They deserve so much more. Even so, we're muddling through and learning a lot along the way. And I think the twins are resilient, relatively well-adjusted kids for all that they've been through.

Here's to three years together, and many many more to come!

Valentines

These are some of my favourite homemade valentines floating around the web:
Pencil Valentines
Mustaches and Lips Lollipop Valentines
Mad Libs Valentines
Tiny Valentine Boxes

Bad choices

So, here's what I learned today: I should never take my children grocery shopping. Ever.

I made a list. I left said list on the kitchen counter. So I had to wing it.

I did pretty well. At first. And then the kids started asking for things. And whining. And fighting with one another. (Note to Whole Foods: why, oh why don't you have carts that can accommodate more than one child?!?)

It is very difficult to remember what was on a carefully composed grocery list and compare prices on bulk foods when two little chatterboxes are continually demanding your attention. And the attention of anyone who passes by. I think we now know the names and birthdates of every Whole Foods shopper and their mother who happened to be in the store this afternoon. We also now know why the man was putting the chips so high up, and why the girl was wearing her coat while making peanut butter. The trip took twice as long as it normally does for me to go to two different stores, and even included a bathroom break at a most inopportune time. Oy vey!

I had intended to buy ice cream as a special treat. We very very rarely have ice cream around here, and never eat more than a few spoonfuls at a time. But since we started this whole foods endeavour, I've been craving something a little bit sweet, and figured that ice cream would do the trick and be (sort of) within my rules. After all, it's made from whole foods. What happened next was beyond my control.

I left the store with two pints. One a $7 Vosges Wattleseed ice cream (which is absolutely delicious) and the other a blood orange sorbet (also amazing). These two things (and a couple of other totally unnecessary "splurges" such as crystal deodorant to replace our homemade stuff) completely blew my grocery budget for the week. On the upside, these two pints should last the four of us at least a month.

Other than that, the whole foods challenge is changing the way we think about what we eat. Our pantry is getting pretty bare, which is a really good thing, because that means we can restock it with much better choices (as long as I'm shopping without the kids!)

Changes

This commitment to an entire year of challenges is inspiring some pretty major changes in our lifestyle. It's all been really positive thus far, and is definitely helping us define and work towards the live we've always envisioned as ideal for us, but that's not to say it's been easy. Anytime someone endeavors to change things that have been a comfortable way of life for years, they will inevitably come up against challenges.

Last night we watched Food, Inc. It's a film that I strongly believe that anyone who eats any food (or edible foodlike substance) needs to watch. For me, the film evoked so many emotions: anger that this has been allowed to go on for so long, incredulousness at what people in power can get away with, fear that what we're eating and feeding our children is literally making us sick, sadness that the government, who I strongly believe *should* be acting primarily in the interests of individual citizens rather than big business, is moving even farther away from that.

The entire food production system is so incredibly screwed up. It's hurting almost everyone. The farmers who are going into debt to keep up with the newest innovations in technology so that they can sell their goods below the cost of production, the farm workers who are being injured through unsafe practices, or who are recruited as immigrants only to be deported when the companies they work for call Immigration, the animals who live in horrible, unsanitary and unsafe conditions only to be carelessly slaughtered, the environment, whose resources are being squandered at an alarming rate, and the consumers who are paying for the costs of "cheap" food with ever increasing medical bills.

The government has a vested interest in protecting individuals from the dangerous, unsafe, and unhealthy practices of factory farming, and yet they're choosing to subsidize the least healthy foods. The courts routinely rule in favour of the giant multinational corporations. And we're all worse off for that.

We can't have an honest debate about the future of healthcare in this country if we're not willing to address one of the biggest contributors to the exponential increase in health problems: the Westernized Diet. Prevention of disease must be given a larger priority, and big changes need to happen on a policy level.

Despite my anger, I came away from watching Food, Inc. feeling empowered. I also realize that my empowerment stems, in large part, from my privilege. I have the time to devote to doing the necessary research to determine what foods are healthy for my family to eat. I have the money to purchase fresh, whole foods, and the time to prepare them. I realize that these privileges I have make it much, much easier to actually do something about how I feed my family.

We're still working out exactly how this challenge will change our relationship with food in the future. I'm not sure that I'm willing (ready) to completely give up things like sugar. I can commit to only buying foods with ingredients that I can pronounce and understand. I can commit to buying locally whenever possible, and trying as hard as I can to stay within season. I can commit to patronizing restaurants that have a commitment to using local, organic products. I can put a whole lot more effort into tending to our own vegetable garden.

The first thing we purchased when our 30 Days of Nothing was officially over was a CSA share. From June through October, we will be receiving fresh, organic, locally grown fruits and vegetables, free range eggs, cheeses, and a "surprise" bunch of items such as locally milled flours, cornmeal, jams, salsas, pickles, popcorn, etc. I can't wait to see what membership in a CSA is all about!

As for our ongoing commitment to buy nothing unnecessary, we've done pretty well. Aside from the CSA membership (which I technically count as groceries), I bought my plane ticket to San Francisco, a new bottle of shampoo, some lightbulbs to replace the ones that had burned out in January, batteries, a few more seeds and a seed starting "greenhouse" for our garden (also considered "groceries"), and some industrial strength glue to fix a minor catastrophe in our bathroom. We have still not eaten at a restaurant. I've bought nothing unplanned or unnecessary, and still don't really feel much temptation to do so. My thinking around spending has been truly transformed.

Thoughts on whole foods

Week one has gone pretty well. We've been eating tons of fresh fruits and vegetables, but have definitely found ourselves missing crunchy snack items (i.e. blue corn tortilla chips) and the occasional sweet.

Today was grocery shopping day, and I allowed myself to pick out a couple of artisan cheeses that I wouldn't normally have wanted to spend the money on. One is a lemon stilton that I can't wait to try, and the other is a parrano robusto uniekaas gouda. I also bought buttermilk so that I could try making these for brunch on Sunday. Aside from that, I got lots of fruits, lots of veggies, tofu, and a bunch of supplies for making homemade granola bars using this recipe. I added dried cherries and a handful of dark chocolate chips, and they worked out fantastically!

Next week I'll be trying out a bunch of new recipes, so we'll see how that goes. I'm excited for the challenge, though.

I've been reading Michael Pollan's book In Defense of Food in order to mentally prepare myself for this challenge and also to better understand the history of food production. Some of the facts and statistics are staggering, and when they're presented so honestly, it's hard to justify the vast majority of the westernized American "diet".

So much of what we're conditioned to want is not really food at all. I'm very drawn to the whole foods movement, and yet there are parts of me that are still trying to rationalize holding on to some things that I know are not good (cupcakes!). Ultimately, I think we'll be moving toward a diet firmly rooted in whole foods, and while I don't imagine we'll ever completely give up certain foods, I'd definitely like to see those things become very occasional "treats".

Tonight we'll be watching Food, Inc.

This also provides some really good food for thought.