I'm sure you're all going to be extremely tired of hearing me talk about my 30 days of nothing experience (and I haven't even started it yet) but I have begun the process of disentangling myself from the ubiquitous culture of consumerism, and have given extra thought to several experiences and temptations to spend:
On Black Friday, I went to a couple of stores (including Target), looked around, and bought nothing. I did make one preplanned purchase of haircare products at Qhemet Biologics because they were having a rare 20% off sale, and I would classify the kids' haircare products a "need" (though I'm beginning to think that there are various levels of both wants and needs...). I also bought a new all in one printer, which is something I'd been thinking about for a while. (My previous printer had been a workhorse for 12 years, but the scanner had stopped working, which made it impossible to complete several projects I'd been working on. The price was right, so I took the plunge).
Then, over the weekend I realized that all of Elijah's pants are too short (a fact that he hilariously pointed out to us all at Thanksgiving). I went to Old Navy, who was having a big sale, picked up four pairs of pants, and was on my way to pay for them when I had a realization: I should have gone to the thrift shop first. So I put the pants away and went to the thrift shop, where I got 6 pairs of Gap, Old Navy, Children's Place, and Ralph Lauren pants for less than $10.
Yesterday was the sort of day where it would have been *so* easy to spend money just to keep the kids happy and quiet. I had to go to Target to buy conditioner for their hair. They were both grumpy and complaining about how "their tummies hurt because I wasn't feeding them". They begged for me to buy them a snack. I said no, and told them that we were going home and could have a snack there. Complete meltdowns ensued.
This experience reinforced two things for me:
1. Even my kids are totally immersed in consumerism (and mindless consumerism, at that).
2. I need to make sure that I'm setting an example for my children that they will have the things
that they need, but they cannot always have whatever they want. I don't usually reward bad behaviour / whining / crying / etc, but I do tend to give them little treats when they've been good. Now I've realized that doing that has created an expectation on their part, and I'm not very happy about that. We need to start talking even more about privilege and wants vs. needs.
I'm still spending money in December, but I'm being much more intentional about how I spend. Hopefully my entire family will learn some lessons from this exercise.
4 comments:
At our house I implemented a rule when Figs was fairly young that if something was asked for in the store, the answer would always be no. Except for the free samples of course. I know it sounds a little harsh, but really, it has been wonderful has effectively killed the instant gratification need in them. I am considering joining you in January to kill it in myself.
Love that you thrift for the kids. Until very recently the majority of school clothes were second (or fifth) hand. But with how we live out here and the economy, the thrift stores are now more expensive than Old Navy (sales). Seriously. I was appalled. Proud, but appalled.
Here's to healthier spending habits for us big kids too.
Thanks for coming back to blogging.
So, I'm thinking about joining too. But, I have some questions. Is this a "program" - where can I read about the principles and the intended outcomes? Also, J, is your hubby into the idea? Has he gotten on board too? (Not sure Mr. Silly Pants would be into it). He's actually the "spender" in our home, and it's a bit of an issue er, ummmm, item of conversation for us (he argues "plenty" and he thinks I have some disfunction about money -I call it 2 kids in college, something up until the start of 2010 when my college funds are kaput for both girls he MIGHT feel/think/ differently. This stuff hasn't hit his radar at all because I've been good about planning with what I have). Anyway...if I do this, you and Mama P wanna do the cultural immersion project for a month? I'm thinking about making a password protected blog so we can talk to each other about how it is going.
Musing....
MM
MP- I know what you mean about thrift stores sometimes being more expensive than sales. It can be pretty crazy sometimes. Though I am fairly good at finding deals, and have found great prices on Zutano (when they were little) Hannah Andersson, and Tea Collection clothes in the past.
As for your no instant gratification rule, I love it! I think I'll be implementing it immendiately!
M- There's not really a "program" per se. My understanding is that it's more of a personal challenge to break the hold of consumerism, (and particularly mindless consumerism)and make us understand and appreciate the privileges we have a little bit more. In that sense, we can set whatever goals we'd like with this challenge.
For me, it's becoming aware (and potentially cutting way down on) those little "leaks" in our spending that add up to a fairly large chunk of money at the end of the month. Impulse buys, special treats, yadda yadda. Lets just say there will be no cupcake budget for the month of January.
Jon is going to participate in the challenge. He's very excited about me doing this, but he's grumbling a bit about not buying his lunches out. That's by far his biggest expense, and he refuses to pack a lunch, complaining that "nothing he can make at home will fill him up". I have trouble with finding the logic in that statement, but so it goes. It'll be interesting.
Ultimately, I think that money is a tool, and I want to be able to use that tool in the best, healthiest, and most beneficial way for everyone involved.
Sounds like a great plan! I don't think I will be joining you - we are on a tight budget au naturel right now - but I do think it is good for everyone to tighten their belts every once in a while. I've become a fan of Savers. They have one conveniently located right next to the mall :) Not sure if you have them around there or not. They tend to be slightly more expensive than the Goodwills but have a great selection of kids' clothes and toys and are well organized. It is also good for allowances. My kids have already figured out that their money goes a lot farther there than at Target. In fact I am playing Little Mermaid Dominos with T right now - she bought it herself at Savers with her $1.50 allowance :)
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